I have confirmation that my classmates are, in fact, all a bunch of morons

Dr. Reser passed back our essay exams today. Before doing so, he gave a long lecture on how many, many members of the class would be well served by bringing a dictionary with them to help them spell words correctly. He had a very long rant about the importance of knowing basic spelling rules, not trusting spell-check, the lost art of using a dictionary, how we could improve our spelling by keeping a list of words we repeatedly misspell and working to learn to spell those words properly, how correct spelling is the mark of an educated individual and with incorrect spelling being the most obvious error in written English it behooves people who might be writing letters of application to learn how to spell lest they look like an idiot. The lecture can basically be summed up as: "learn to spell, learn to spell, learn to fucking spell you idiots!!!1eleventyone!"

Before getting my test back I felt kinda bad, figuring that, a dyslexic on three colors of cold medication probably made some impressive spelling mistakes and contributed to his diatribe not to mention the level in his bottle of headache medicine. Imagine my shock when I get a note on my test that says "Thank you for using proper spelling and grammar." How? My spelling is abominable, I once misspelled my own name on a spelling test that I otherwise got 100% on when I wasn't heavily drugged. I know my ability to spell does not improve when I barely qualify as self-aware so how is it that my classmates managed to butcher the English language worse than a dyslexic drugged to the gills with the warm end of the spectrum?