ladyluckless

Dear idiot,

You cannot access files on your flash drive if you do not plug it into the computer. Just because you can see it lying on the table next to the computer does not mean the computer can do anything with it. Shocking, I know. Once the flash drive is plugged into the computer it will be listed as 'removable disk,' 'USBdsk' or something very similar. It will not be found anywhere in your 'Z' drive, and it is NOT, no matter how many times you insist otherwise, the same as the DVD/CR-RW drive. So, please don't be upset when you click on the DVD drive and don't see your files.

Once I've spent fifteen minutes being polite, helping you and explaining the above to you no less than five times do us both a favor and leave. Don't, under any circumstances, touch me and then ask me out on a date.

EDIT- Idiot came back and needed to print. I explained the concept of a needing his dana ID and not his student ID, by telling him I needed the one that started off with his initials. I certainly hope his initials aren't: 00000othernumbersremoved. ~sigh~

Dear students who frequent the computer lab-

Every time you sit down to use a computer that is no longer in the building I laugh at you. If you choose to ignore me when I tell you that the reason the computer isn't working is because there is, in fact, no computer where you are sitting I will laugh out loud at you.

Dear idiot who reminds me why I hate group work-

Learn which way is north. Develop the (un?)common sense to be able to figure out that North Campus is (gasp)to the north of South Campus therefore the doors on the same side as north campus are on the north side of the building. I mean, really, this ought to be inherently obvious. Or at least figure out that while in Flagstaff, if you're facing the mountain you're also facing north. Mountain=north.

So when I (after almost completely giving up on directing you to a door) in accordance with your wish to use the main door of the building that is by the lobby direct you to the north central door of Tinsley, the door that directly faces Cowden hall and is right smack dab in the middle of the building and you indicate some comprehension of this you do not show up at the southeast entrance. I won't be waiting to let you in there.

Do not call me, pissed that I'm not standing right next to a door that wasn't the agreed meeting place demanding that I be there. Do not, when asked where you are respond with "I don't know there's like nothing here, you know? I'm at the door!" and when questioned further about which door on what side of the building respond with "I don't know, the left side?" I shouldn't have to tell you this, you being in college and all that, but your right and your left are not necessarily the same as my right and my left as they are relative to whatever direction you happen to be facing making them really lousy direction for people who cannot see what direction you are currently facing. Is it really that hard to navigate by cardinal directions? Or possibly landmarks? You could have just as easily told me that you were standing by the door across from Wilson and by the Tinsley parking lot and I would have understood.

Dear co-worker who seems to think I'm just out to ruin your life because I insist on following lab policy in my computer lab-

Go roast in a blazing inferno. Seriously. I finally got you to stop unlocking and propping open the security door that is supposed to remain shut at all times. Now you insist on taping the lock of the main door to the lab so that when it swings shut the lock won't catch and as with the unlocked security door it is possible to enter the lab (even when it isn't open) without a doorcode. No. No, no, no. Don't do this! I know we no longer have a handy door prop because it has wandered off somewhere but it is still possible to hold the door open with other objects like the trash can or a handy chair do not tell me that there is no other way to keep the door open. You must think I'm really stupid if you expect me to believe that, or even that you believe that.

I don't really want to engage in a power struggle with you (I'll win 'cause I'm technically your boss, even if I do happen to possess my own set of boobs). Especially if it is over something so petty and stupid. Please stop acting like the tiny little girl can't possibly know what the fuck she is talking about and should just go play with her adorable little dollies and leave the thinking and the computers to the intelligent, upstanding, manly, army-dude. Because if you keep it up my rapidly dwindling patience will run out and I will be forced to make you regret it. ::smile, smile::

EDIT- Addendum to the idiot who reminds me why I hate group work-
When you pick a particular meeting time and place because you want to practice the dialogue before class show up at the place you picked. I was waiting downstairs in the language lab like you asked me to while you were cooling your heels outside the classroom. Yes, I could have decided to check there sometime prior to heading to the classroom to preform my half of the conversation but I figured, judging by your behavior during most of the project, that you were just really late.

Oh, what's that? You want me to look over your paper? Okay, I don't have much to do right now and I could have it back to you in an hour or two. Oh, you need it back in less than 20 minutes? Because it's due, like, right now and you want me to write up a reader report for you? Yeah . . . good luck with that.

Dear people who frequent the computer lab-

Please for the love of whatever it is you hold dear clean up after yourselves. I don't mind cleaning up the odd bit of paper, left disks and soda bottles. I really don't. That being said, under no circumstances should I have to clean up your lube (mmm strawberry flavored), your used snot rags, what looked to be the leftovers from the time you ordered half the menu at Chilies or anything that contains your bodily fluids. People like you are the reason I'm afraid to go clean the study cubicles. I peer into the door and wonder just what the dregs of humanity have left for me. I feel like I need to scrub up to the elbow just thinking about cleaning the lab. Seriously, ew.

Also, if you're going to move around various bits of furniture please put them back where you found them. I honestly hope you had a reason you went and rearranged the fishbowl so that the tables formed a giant maze and that that reason had nothing to with wanting to fuck with the lab staff. Same to the guy that went and removed all of the lights from the study cubicles and then arranged them in a pyramid. I could go on about how much I wish the chairs would stop migrating half-way across the lab whenever you come in a group or lot of you would start pushing in your chairs but I know that is too much to ask. But please, please stop acting like it's a huge inconvenience to you if I start rearranging chairs in your area. I'm not going to ask you to take your stuff off the seat or even to stop using the chairs as footstools. I will be removing the rest of your chair fort because other people need to sit, too.

Do not tell me that things used to be different 2-3 years ago thinking that I will be forced to accommodate your insane requests. Printing has never been free, color printing has never cost the same amount as black and white and we have never stocked specialty paper. We also don’t print on anything but regular copy paper but that’s another story. Telling me otherwise is not going to change it. Believe it or not I’ve been working here for over four years. I know lab policy better than you and probably better than 80% of the people that work here, don’t argue with me, it’ll just get you kicked out.

And to one particular person--our cork board is only for official University announcements. There are boards for student messages on campus, ours is not one of them. There was even a sign explaining that, how anyone who wanted permission to put stuff up had to ask the desk staff to approve items and how we would be removing all non-approved items before you taped your sign advertising your availability to teach French to it. Just because you destroyed out sign telling you why your stuff will be removed does not mean you've cleverly gotten rid of the policy. So don't keep replacing your sign with a larger note to "not remove it." It doesn't belong there and I'm going to continue to take it down.

Do not touch me. Just because I am walking about the lab pushing in chairs and there is not a giant desk between us does not mean that it is okay to come up to me and start petting my hair. I know my hair is long, shiny, does that crinkly thing and is oh-so-soft. (I've even managed to get it to stop trying to eat itself, attack small children and magically tie itself in knots. Go, go gadget hair lubricant!) Even if I didn't it would still not be appropriate for you to come up and touch me. I don't like it when people I know start touching me, what makes you think I want you to do so?

Four, yes, four people came up to me today and started petting my hair. Am I wearing a giant sign or something? Is it national invade personal space day? One of them, I had helped before and I figured she was a pretty sweet, mostly technologically inept lady. This was before she flagged me down to tell me I was pretty, started touching me and stroking my hair, and followed me to the door asking questions about my ethnic background. Yeah, lady, you're fucking creepy.

Don't do this. Please.